


right where i want you

by rosepotion



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hyung Kink, Kissing, M/M, MY hyung kink basically, Making Out, Overstimulation, Porn with Feelings, aka how many times can i make ty say hyung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24035821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosepotion/pseuds/rosepotion
Summary: "When I ask you a question, I want you to answer me.""Yes, hyung." Taeyong gulps."Now tell me," he whispers. He hooks his hands under Taeyong's knees and pushes them up to his chest, open and exposed. "Do you think about me when you touch yourself?"Taeyong's eyes flutter shut. "All the time."-or, taeyong confronts his big gay crush on baekhyun.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 25
Kudos: 248





	right where i want you

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my baby that i have been working on all month and im very happy to be feeding other big-brained baekyongists like myself. i think i would be happy if even one person read this and liked it. so enjoy!!

Taeyong likes Baekhyun.

A lot of things about him, actually- his jokes and his smile, how he looks on stage, his body when he dances.

He likes the way Baekhyun makes him feel.

It was a niggling thing in the way back of his mind for a long time, a crush on Baekhyun that was more like admiration, that was more like a fan looking starry-eyed up at an idol, out of reach. Now Baekhyun is very much in his reach, on a North American tour with him and the rest of SuperM, not ten feet away from him in the bathroom of the hotel room. In the shower, Taeyong remembers. (Naked.)

Taeyong had nervously crashed Baekhyun's liveshow a little while ago, slowly growing more and more comfortable in front of the camera with his hyung until they were both laughing about something nonsensical. Taeyong is _so_ attuned to what Baekhyun is doing at all times. He keeps his eyes trained on him and laughs louder than usual, throwing his head back and clapping like a seal. Baekhyun makes Taeyong feel comfortable, and special, and just a little bit giddy.

Baekhyun makes him do stupid things.

Stupid things like staying in Baekhyun's room while he showers, even though he bid Baekhyun goodnight, promising himself to clear out after a few minutes. Baekhyun grabbed a few things out of his hard plastic suitcase and slipped into the restroom, calling for Taeyong not to wait up for him as he cleans up for the night. But Taeyong finds himself precariously sitting on the edge of Baekhyun's bed, keeping very still and listening carefully to the water turn on.

Taeyong doesn't exactly know what he's doing (as is the case with most instances involving Baekhyun). What exactly he's accomplishing by listening to the shower water, accompanied by Baekhyun's soft singing, muffled through the wall. His mind wonders to Baekhyun, his skin all on display under the water, soapy suds pooling in the dips and ridges of his muscles. His delicate hands running deftly through his hair. Taeyong isn't at all new to wanting Baekhyun, but thoughts like these usually strike him late at night and in the privacy of his own room, where he's free to take himself in his hand and indulge in all the ways he wants him. These thoughts, of Baekhyun's very naked body, of Baekhyun having his way with him, usually don't happen with Taeyong waiting on the other side of a door, the object of his desires unknowingly on the other side.

God, he wants. Just thinking about it makes heat rise in his cheeks.

Minutes later, Taeyong's scrolling through his phone when the water shuts off and he hears the faint shuffling of Baekhyun moving around. Taeyong wants to bolt out the door before his hyung discovers him waiting like a puppy for their owner to come home. The bathroom doorknob turns.

Taeyong stares at Baekhyun, dumb, in the split second before Baekhyun yelps and dashes back into the restroom, exclaiming and apologizing.

"Taeyong-ah! You surprised me!"

"S-sorry, hyung!" Taeyong calls out to him, heat rising in his cheeks. Baekhyun had been wearing nothing but a towel, sitting low on his hips. Taeyong could see everything. "I didn't mean to scare you."

A muted laugh sounds from beyond the door. "That's okay, wait up for hyung! I'll be right out!"

Taeyong follows Baekhyun's directive and falls back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. The visual of Baekhyun's bare chest, flushed from the heat and covered with tiny crystals of water... So much skin. Taeyong files it away for safekeeping.

Moments later, Baekhyun re-emerges fully clothed, and Taeyong sits up like a soldier springing to attention. His hyung is wearing a soft black shirt that must be a few sizes to big for him, hem falling mid-thigh- Taeyong can just barely see the shorts underneath.

"Now," he smiles, pouncing on the bed beside Taeyong. "Did you stay here just to scare hyung? Or just to annoy him?"

"Neither," Taeyong says shyly.

"Did you need to talk to me about something?"

Did he? Hell if Taeyong knows. He realizes he has no earthly idea what sort of excuse he should make up.

"Yes," Taeyong goes with.

"What about?"

Baekyong sits up beside Taeyong, looking expectant.

"Ah- nothing," Taeyong coughs.

"So weird," Baekhyun coos, not unkindly. He pinches one of Taeyong's cheeks like an aunt would. Taeyong is just relieved he let it go.

Baekhyun flops back against the downy comforter, stretching his arms up overhead. He lets out an obscene groan at the stretch and Taeyong has to physically look away from where his shirt rides up, exposing more of this thighs.

Taeyong's eyes dart around and fall on the next best thing to make conversation about- the huge television on the opposite wall from the bed. "Do- do you wanna watch something?"

"It's late, isn't it?" Baekhyun asks. "I'm not jet lagged if you're not."

"I'm not," Taeyong agrees. He's never felt more awake.

Taeyong gets the remote and hands it to Baekhyun as he settles himself at the top of the bed, propped up again the mountain of pillows obscuring the leather headboard.

"How could I forget everything would be in English," Baekhyun laughs, scrolling through channels and finding nothing but Midwestern cooking shows and infomercial stations. The screen turns to black and Baekhyun sighs loudly, over-exaggerated.

"I have all the episodes of Boys Over Flowers downloaded," Taeyong admits, loving the way Baekhyun's face lights up and a laugh rings from his lips.

"A classic," he grins. Baekhyun shifts closer, cozying up to Taeyong. "Who knew our Taeyongie was such a romantic, hm?"

Taeyong tries to get the first episode ready, all the while hyperfocused on exactly where his arm is touching Baekhyun's, where their thighs faintly brush each other. He wants to be closer.

There's something soothing about watching a show so old and familiar, a sense of comfort Taeyong draws from watching the well-known plot unfold in front of his eyes. It's almost enough to distract him from the man beside pressed against his side. Baekhyun radiates warmth- he lets his mind drift from his phone screen and suddenly every small point of contact between them has his full attention.

Is Baekhyun this conscious of how they're touching? Does he like it? Taeyong can feel the rise and fall of Baekhyun's breathing through his arm, is that weird? Taeyong likes it, at least. He would do anything to stay in this moment, near Baekhyun, just basking in his presence. A tiny drop of water drips onto his shoulder from Baekhyun's hair. He smells clean and manly and human. Should he press closer? Is it-

Suddenly, Baekhyun laughs at something onscreen and throws his head back. His hand flies up. When it comes back down, it lands on Taeyong's thigh. Close to the top. It stays.

Taeyong prays that his hyung doesn't hear the jolt in his breath.

Things are okay until Baekhyun starts moving, a gentle, looping, back and forth movement of his thumb on the outside of Taeyong's leg. Goosebumps.

Baekhyun laughs again, squeezes a little.

"Hyung," Taeyong gasps. God, he sounds so wrecked.

"Ah," Baekhyun chuckles. Everything seems to be lighthearted to him. "Sorry, Taeyongie. Didn't realize you were so sensitive," he says pointedly, swatting at Taeyong's thigh.

Taeyong knows it's playful but it makes his stomach turn.

They go back to watching the episode in relative quiet, but Taeyong misses Baekhyun's hand on him as soon as it leaves. He wants it back, wants to tell Baekhyun, _I lied, you can touch me there, you can do anything you want to._

These sort of dramas always make Taeyong feel a bit lovesick. He imagines himself as the dim-witted protagonist of one show or another, confessing to his charming love interest with teary eyes before they live happily ever after. What Taeyong would give to have something come so easy. Baekhyun hasn't been easy. The long tour days and never ending plane trips, the rigorous work schedule and all the tiring standards that being an idol requires them to live up to- not to mention, Taeyong remembers, all the prying eyes around them at all times. Still, Baekhyun has become a safe place for him, a soft place to land. He laughs and smiles no matter what, always lightening the mood. He sees the best in people. In Taeyong.

After the episode ends, Taeyong clicks his phone off and drops it against his stomach. The room is still, quiet- the only sound is the whirring white noise of the air conditioner and the heavy rush of blood in his own ears.

"One more episode?" Baekhyun asks.

Taeyong considers his options. If he says no, this might be the end of the line. He might have to go spend the rest of his night in his own hotel room, alone in bed.

"One more," he agrees, and turns it back on.

Baekhyun is still pressed against his side and Taeyong can't help but focus on him, the phone screen reflecting in his eyes, the little wrinkles that grace his face when he smiles. Baekhyun is tan, and beautiful Taeyong thinks, without all the makeup and the photo editing and the bright lights. This is where he likes him best: unfiltered. Close.

"I like the main guy," Baekhyun says, "but I think the friend is much more handsome, don't you think, Taeyongie?"

Taeyong gulps before murmuring an affirmative.

Now, when Taeyong thinks about it, it may have been this comment that gave him the sliver of hope he needed. A push off the edge.

Baekhyun giggles and turns his head to make another comment to Taeyong and-

The urge to kiss him surges in Taeyong's gut. He doesn't think for even a moment before he leans down and presses his lips to Baekhyun's mouth, closing his eyes tight.

They part with a soft, wet click.

"Oh," Baekhyun breathes.

Taeyong's heart drops like a stone into his stomach, like being thrown down an empty elevator shaft. It's dizzying. He jerks back, itching to leave. Run, anywhere.

"Oh my god," he chokes. He flails backwards off the bed and lands hard on his back in his haste, phone forgotten on the bed.

"Hey, wait, I-"

"I am so sorry hyung," Taeyong stutters as he stumbles to his feet, "I really- oh my god I have no idea what I was thinking, I'll leave, I'll go, I'll-"

"N-no, no, Taeyongie, wait-"

"God, you must be so disgusted with me," Taeyong cries, hot, prickling tears welling up behind his eyes.

Baekhyun springs up and catches him before Taeyong darts out of the room like a scared deer. He grabs onto Taeyong's wrist and holds him there, insistent. Taeyong tries to squirm out of his grasp.

"Taeyong," Baekhyun urges, looking straight into his eyes. Taeyong can't look away.

"Taeyong," he breathes again, a sigh, and Taeyong feels like a collapsing star when Baekhyun leans in. Like an implosion: a moment of perfect contact.

This kiss is nothing like the first.

This kiss is like nothing he has ever felt. No day dream or fantasy or vision of his wildest imagination could prepare him for this kiss, the way Baekhyun's mouth feels against his own, a soft, determined press.

Baekhyun's hands move to his waist and Taeyong shivers, they curl around his middle and Taeyong sighs into Baekhyun's mouth, clutched close against his chest now.

 _So this is what it feels like_ , he faintly thinks. How can he think, really, when the man he's idolized for years is making out with him. His head is spinning with the heat.

They part for only a moment before Baekhyun draws him back in and kisses him hard, tilting his head so their mouths align like puzzle pieces. Taeyong is powerless, too utterly stunned to do anything but stand in front of him, knees weak, and let himself be kissed. Their noses press together and Taeyong can hear every filthy sound their lips make, if only a little above the beating of his heart in his ears.

Baekhyun kisses him and he knows he is ruined. Baekhyun kisses him and he knows he will never want to kiss someone else this much, not for the rest of his life.

Baekhyun is still holding him tight around his middle, more like a hug than anything else, when he pulls away and rests his forehead against Taeyong's. Taeyong can feel his laboured breathing washing across his face, and he leans in again to chase the source of that breath, kissing Baekhyun softly once more before leaning back.

"I'm not upset," Baekhyun finally murmurs.

Taeyong chances a look up at his face as best he can being so close to him and takes in Baekhyun's appearance; his flushed cheeks, bright, searching eyes, his swollen lips. He looks just about as wrecked as Taeyong feels.

"Obviously not upset," Taeyong marvels.

Baekhyun laughs against him, a strange, strained sort of thing, and whispers, "Do you have any idea how much I wanted you to do that? All night, I was waiting."

Taeyong gulps. "I- didn't know."

"God," and now it's Baekhyun's turn to marvel, "how could I not? Have you seen yourself?"

"Have _you_ seen _yourself_?" Taeyong gapes at him, aghast. "Hyung, you're like, you're," Taeyong struggles for the words and ends up stepping back and vaguely gesturing at all of Baekhyun, which Baekhyun seems to find hilarious.

"I'm? I'm what, Taeyongie," Baekhyun smiles. He crowds Taeyong slowly backwards, until the backs of Taeyong's knees hit the edge of the bed and he's pressed against him again, chest to chest. "Tell hyung what you like so much about him."

"Hyung," Taeyong breathes dumbly, seemingly unable to say much else with Baekhyun so close.

Baekhyun just smiles his gentle, teasing smile, and lifts Taeyong's face to his with a finger under his chin, their lips meeting again.

Oh _God_. Taeyong melts. If this is what it's going to feel like every time, he never wants to stop.

"There," Baekhyun murmurs, soothing. "You don't have to tell me."

"I think it would just fuel your ego if I did."

"I don't think it could get any bigger," Baekhyun smirks. "Why don't I tell you what I like about you, huh?"

Taeyong only whines, petulant, always so bad at taking compliments. Baekhyun keeps leaning against him, pushing and pushing until Taeyong's knees buckle and he sits back onto the bed. He looks up at Baekhyun through his eyelashes.

"I like your eyes," Baekhyun begins, tilting Taeyong's chin up like he did before. "Pretty."

"I like your hair," and his fingers trail along Taeyong's jaw before carding through the hair at the back of his head, holding him in place.

"I like your lips," he smirks, and Taeyong whines again.

"You did that on purpose," Taeyong says breathlessly, trying his best to gain control back over his erratic heartbeat. "To get a reaction out of me."

"So what if I did," Baekhyun laughs, all smoldering sensuality gone from his gaze as he jokes. "It worked anyway!"

Baekhyun's fingers tighten in his hair the slightest bit and Taeyong has to stop himself from saying _please, tighter_. He just groans and presses his face into Baekhyun's shirt, nuzzling like a cat.

"You're so ridiculous," Taeyong grumbles, voice hardly discernable.

"Tell hyung what you want to do."

Anything and everything, is the answer. Taeyong wants to ask what Baekhyun is thinking, what he is looking to get out of this tonight, so he doesn't ask for too much and scare him off. He doesn't want to say what he wants for the irrational fear that Baekhyun will think he's weird, even though it's obvious Baekhyun wants him too. Taeyong is not used to feeling this much.

"Whatever you want, hyung," he says, and shakes his head against Baekhyun's belly, where he's warm and soft. He's thankful Baekhyun is letting him hide here, to shield his face from the embarrassment. "Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll- I'll do it."

Baekhyun laughs a little and Taeyong can feel it more than hear it, a slight rumble in his chest.

"So generous," he whispers, and Taeyong can feel it again, his voice pressing against him, all deep like waves of rolling thunder. Baekhyun laughs and ruffles Taeyong's hair. "Here's what we can do," he says quietly, like he's guiding him. "Scooch up."

Eager to follow his lead, Taeyong moves back on the bed. Baekhyun crawls over him, knees on either side of his hips, and pushes him firmly to the bed with one hand on his chest. It knocks the wind wind out of him. Baekhyun hovers above him, leans over his prone body, and Taeyong's whole worldview shifts and tunnel-visions.

With little preamble, Baekhyun leans down and captures Taeyong's lips once more, still as gentle as he always has been. Something about the ease with which he kisses turns Taeyong on more than if he was all tongue and teeth, kissing hungry. Well, Taeyong reconsiders, that would probably turn him on too.

Taeyong's arms are glued to his sides but Baekhyun's hands roam, flit to one place and another, not seeming to be able to settle. The hand that had pushed Taeyong to the bed pets across his chest, trails along his collar bones, and curves so it's holding Taeyong's jaw, thumb soothing back and forth. With the other hand, Baekhyun trails down, down, presses against Taeyong's stomach, feels his ribs.

Baekhyun nips at Taeyong's bottom lip. Not being so gentle anymore.

Slowly, Taeyong parts his lips to Baekhyun's advances, dares to take a little more of what he wants. He strains his neck and presses up into Baekhyun, their chests brushing, and lets Baekhyun take him, kiss him deep and needy.

Baekhyun lets out these enthusiastic little hums that make Taeyong smile into their kisses, act as the encouragement Taeyong thrives on. He tries to be vocal back, make some of his own noises, which isn't hard considering how keyed-up he's getting. Baekhyun feels so good on top of him and, even though he's carefully positioning his hips so they don't brush, his kisses alone have a heady warmth pooling in Taeyong's body, his stomach filling with molten gold.

Wet lips kiss across his cheek, and down, lower, to Taeyong's neck.

"Ah," Taeyong gasps, thighs clenching.

"Feels good?" Baekhyun says into his skin, and gets right back to his work. His teeth just graze the skin, not stopping long enough or pressing hard enough to leave a mark. But Taeyong wants marks.

Baekhyun's hands tug at the bottom of his shirt, and he glances up with heavy-lidded eyes to get Taeyong's approval.

"Can I take this off you?"

Taeyong only nods, mouth open dumbly as Baekhyun lifts his shirt. Taeyong shimmies until his shirt is tossed off the bed and he lies back down, chest now bare.

It's not that Baekhyun has never seen him shirtless, because he has- they've all been swimming together and practically jammed all seven of themselves in the same shower trying to get out the door and to their next schedule, but there's something inherently different about this now. Taeyong is bare and it's just for Baekhyun, just a moment for them in the dim silence of the hotel room.

His nails ghost over Taeyong's stomach. He smirks when he feels the younger boy's muscles clench under his touch, and delights in the strained half-sigh he lets out.

Baekhyun touches him more gently and more intentionally than anyone ever has. His fingertips trail up Taeyong's belly and touch his chest, touch him like a fragile instrument. His knees squeeze around his hips as he straddles him the way a cello player might hold their instrument between their legs.

Baekhyun leans over him and kisses down his neck again, now with so much room. Taeyong is hard, can feel it pressing in his jeans, and Baekhyun isn't being so careful about where he puts his weight anymore, he knows he can feel it too.

Baekhyun's tongue flicks over his nipple and Taeyong lets out the loudest cry he has all night. He's lit up like a live wire, and completely confused as to why it feels so good- he's tried to touch himself like that before and it never even came close to the sensation of another person's warm, wet mouth on him.

"Hyung," he pants, chest heaving. "I- please, um, wait a second."

It doesn't matter how many times he's been on stage, or how massive the audience he performed for was. Nothing feels like this. He is an audience of one, kept under wrapped attention as Baekhyun has his way with him.

"Are you alright?" His eyes looks so sincere. Taeyong decides he trusts him, with everything.

"It's just," Taeyong starts. Stops. Baekhyun looms over him, hovering on his elbows just inches above his face. He could crane his neck up and kiss him, easily. "I need to tell you something."

"Of course."

"I've... I've never been with anyone before."

Taeyong fears Baekhyun might not believe him, might play it off as modesty or coyness, chuckle and say, "who, our handsome Taeyongie?" The Taeyong the world sees on stage is not the same Taeyong currently underneath Byun Baekhyun, sweating and nearly going cross-eyed from how close he is. He's quiet, he likes to keep to himself and the people he loves, he makes weird noises and sings to himself and spends way too much time playing Animal Crossing and has never slept with another person. He just wants Baekhyun to be okay with that.

"That's okay," he whispers. A relief. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Taeyong whispers back. He closes his eyes. It's overwhelming to see and hear Baekhyun so close at the same time, crowding his senses. "Yes, hyung, I think I just, need a minute."

"Are you sure?" Baekhyun asks. Taeyong's heart clenches at how sweet he's being. "It's alright if you're not ready."

"I'm okay, hyung," Taeyong nods. "I'm ready for, um, things."

"Things," Baekhyun exaggerates, wiggling his eyebrows. "What kind of things do you want to do to me?"

Taeyong's mind races and he's sure Baekhyun knows what's going on, because his eyes snap open just as fast as he snaps the folder in his head labeled "things I want to do to Baekhyun-hyung" closed.

"You know," Taeyong says desperately. "Things."

"Like this?" Baekhyun says, and touches him. He puts his palm over the bulge in Taeyong's jeans and squeezes.

Taeyong chokes out a sound of approval, eyes rolling back.

"I'll take that as a yes," Baekhyun chuckles lowly, and kisses him again, sweet. "You're doing really good, Taeyongie. Just relax."

"I don't think I can," Taeyong moans, still reeling from Baekhyun's hand on him.

"Do you think you could take off you jeans for me?"

That takes a bit more maneuvering, but after undoing the zipper with shaky fingers and shucking the skinny jeans from his ankles (only getting stuck momentarily) he lies there in his boxer briefs, almost naked and very hard.

"You're so pretty." Baekhyun smiles and puts a hand on each of Taeyong's thighs, gently parting them. He's about to slip his fingers beneath the waistband of Taeyong's underwear but the younger stops him, a hand on his wrist.

"Hyung, can you, um- take off something too?"

Baekhyun makes a noise as if to say _"how silly of me"_ and sits back on his heels, quickly pulling his overlarge sleep shirt over his head. He tosses it aside and it lands on the carpet, near Taeyong's own discarded shirt.

Taeyong has never considered himself an especially vain person, but when he sees Baekhyun's abs, he almost drools. The difference between them is stark- Baekhyun's smooth, golden tan skin, rippling with definition; Taeyong's pale, skinny-boy muscles that hardly cover his ribs. And Baekhyun calls _him_ the pretty one. Something about the way Baekhyun dwarfs him, however, despite them being the same height, that's definitely doing it for Taeyong.

"There, more even now, hm?"

Taeyong smiles shyly and nods, feeling a bit more at ease now that Baekhyun is in a similar state of undress.

Baekhyun rolls off Taeyong and latches onto his side, immediately wriggling a leg between Taeyong's knees and swooping in to kiss him. Baekhyun's free hand, the one that's not awkwardly trapped under both their bodies, wraps around Taeyong's waist, gently presses on his lower back, urging him to move forward.

Baekhyun kisses him, and kisses him, and kisses him, and presses him closer, grinding forward into Taeyong's body. Taeyong can feel his hard cock pressing into his stomach.

Baekhyun's hand slips beneath the waistband of his underwear and gropes at his ass. He pulls away from Taeyong's mouth for just a moment to let out a soft, emphatic _fuck_ before diving back in and grabbing at him, fingers dangerously close to his rim.

Taeyong feels his lower belly pulse, pulse, pulse with the kind of heat that's driving him mad. He wants Baekhyun's fingers to slip inside him, open him up. Prepare him for what's next.

"Off," Baekhyun demands, and who is Taeyong to not follow his requests. He shucks off his briefs and is suddenly on full display, laying there naked in the warm lamplight.

"You're so beautiful," Baekhyun rumbles.

He grabs at Taeyong's ass again and Taeyong can only take so much of it before he gasps and moans and whimpers, " _oh_ , inside, please."

"Here?" Baekhyun asks, fingers petting over his hole. The touch of his bare fingers there feels painfully intimate without the slide of lube or spit between their skin.

"Yes," Taeyong gasps. He wants Baekhyun to fuck him, full stop. God, he wants it.

"I don't have all the things we need," Baekhyun pants.

Taeyong shakes his head and says, "I don't care, hyung, just- do it anyway."

"I can't fuck you tonight," he says. "Not without a condom." It's a little bit of a consolation that he sounds as disappointed as Taeyong feels.

"Maybe tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Baekhyun laughs, agrees. "That's a little ambitious, don't you think?"

Taeyong blushes. "Just- next time, then..?"

"Next time," Baekhyun smiles. He brings his hand to his lips and slicks two fingers with his spit.

"We can do this in the meantime," he grins devilishly and presses his wet finger against Taeyong's hole again.

Taeyong keens into him and searches for his lips, seeking out his kisses to distract from the stretch as Baekhyun slips one finger inside, and then wiggles in another.

"Feel good?"

Taeyong can only let out soft _uh, uh, uh_ sounds as Baekhyun's lithe fingers work into him.

"Tell me, honey," Baekhyun growls. "Do you like it?"

Taeyong blinks hard, trying to find any semblance of coherent speech. "I do," he pants. "L-like it, hyung."

Baekhyun's fingers move faster, harder.

"Have you done this to yourself before?"

Taeyong yelps as Baekhyun nudges a very sensitive spot inside.

"Yeah," he breathes, ragged. "A- _uh_ \- a few times."

"God," Baekhyun moans. "That's fucking hot. Did you think about me?"

"That's so embarrasing," Taeyong chokes out.

Baekhyun pulls his fingers out and Taeyong gasps, but doesn't have long to despair at the loss. Baekhyun pushes him on his back.

"When I ask you a question, I want you to _answer me_."

"Yes, hyung." Taeyong gulps.

"Now tell me," he whispers. He hooks his hands under Taeyong's knees and pushes them up to his chest, open and exposed. "Do you think about me when you touch yourself?"

Taeyong's eyes flutter shut. "All the time."

Things move fast from there. Baekhyun spits in his hand, takes Taeyong's cock and jerks him, hard and fast. He leans his forehead against Taeyong's and kisses his temple, his cheek, all the while whispering sweet nothings into his skin.

Baekhyun takes himself into his hand as well, the entirety of his palm wrapping tight around both of them. Baekhyun's cock against his bare skin feels like a brand. A moment that Taeyong knows, even as he's living it, will live forever in his memory, clear as day.

Taeyong, even with as quiet as he usually is, is nothing but a mess of noises, moans and whimpers, half coherent pleas for more. Baekhyun is annoyingly composed.

"Look so good, honey, the best. Feel even better."

One hand moves on both of them, wrist flicking, while the other touches Taeyong all over, trailing over his stomach and his nipples, dipping into his mouth for him to suck on.

The pads of Baekhyun's fingers press into Taeyong's tongue when he says, "so pretty, baby. So sexy. Damn, I wish I was fucking you tonight, Yong."

"Hyung," he gasps as Baekhyun polishes his thumb over the head of his cock, "I think I might- might come," embarrasingly fast, coming like this from a hand job, like a fucking teenager.

"Do it," Baekhyun spits out, nodding his head fast and moving his hand even faster. "Wanna see it."

"Oh _God_ ," Taeyong moans into the elders open mouth, not trying to stay quiet. Baekhyun jerks his hand a few more times and that's all it takes- Taeyong is gone.

His orgasm crashes into him like a wave, growing and pulsing until it breaks, zinging up his spine and running everywhere throughout his body. He comes over Baekhyun's hand and his own stomach, hot ropes of cum all over, messy and dirty and so good. The only thing he can hear above the ringing in his ears is Baekhyun's desperate voice, still speaking to him, still saying, " _shit_ , just like that baby, give it to me, give it all to me,"

"Yes, hyung, yes, everything," Taeyong pants, blinking hard to clear his vision. He's swimming in aftershocks of pleasure, only starting to grow painful as Baekhyun continues to tug Taeyong's softening cock along with own hard one. He keeps going until Taeyong is whimpering from the overstimulation, tears welling in his eyes, chest heaving and babbling about how it, "f-feels so good, hyung, _hurts_ -"

Baekhyun grinds up into his hand, wildly chasing his own release, still going on and on about how fuckable and amazing and sexy Taeyong is until he _comes_ , comes all over Taeyong's tummy and falls against him, weak and panting and looking just as fucked-out as Taeyong feels.

They breathe.

And breathe.

Baekhyun mutters _Jesus_ and leans in to kiss the younger.

He kisses him slowly, both breathing hard through their noses, while Baekhyun runs his fingers through the mess on Taeyong's stomach. He brings his hand to Taeyong's mouth, " _taste it, baby_ ," and Taeyong obediently takes it, both of their releases mixed together on his tongue. Baekhyun kisses him again, tasting it for himself.

Baekhyun is the first to pull away. He flops against the mattress with a tired little laugh and murmurs something Taeyong guesses is about cleaning up, and the part of Taeyong still floating in the clouds a thousand feet up says _don't go, just stay like this, don't leave me yet._

Baekhyun roots around for his clothes off the floor and slips into the bathroom.

Taeyong doesn't want to make Baekhyun come back with a washcloth and clean him up, so he follows suit- just pulling on his boxers, despite the mess on his stomach and between his legs.

He knocks softly on the bathroom door before shuffling in.

Baekhyun looks up from where he's washing his hands.

"Don't like to be dirty," he explains. It's a funny thing to say. Taeyong doesn't know how close he can be, despite what they were doing to each other not five minutes ago.

Taeyong takes a washcloth and begins cleaning himself up, eyeing Baekhyun carefully.

"How are you feeling?" Baekhyun finally asks.

Taeyong smiles. "Like a million bucks."

"I'm good, huh?" Baekhyun laughs. He's back to the man Taeyong knows, sweet and soft and goofy. "Everything you dreamed of and more?"

"And more, hyung."

Baekhyun laughs and opens his arms a little, sensing Taeyong's subtle apprehension. He gratefully accepts, lets himself be held, relishing the clean skin on skin.

"Glad it was good for you," Baekhyun murmurs into his hair.

"It was more than good. It was- like. Mind-blowing."

"Good," Baekhyun chuckles again. He gently rocks them back and forth.

After a moment, Taeyong whispers.

"Hyung."

His voice razor thin like it gets when he's about to cry. Baekhyun is holding him just like he was before, when they were first kissed, his hands covering the expanse of Taeyong's back and wrapping around him tight. One hand smooths up his skin and gentles around the one, two, three knobbly vertebrae at the top of his spine. Taeyong cannot let this be the last time he feels this.

He leans his face against Baekhyun's chest and says very quietly, "can I tell you something."

"Mm?"

In a sudden rush of bravery, Taeyong curls his fingers in the short hairs at the nape of Baekhyun's neck and tries his hardest to channel every ounce of sincerity and tenderness he can into the kiss he gives him.

"I like you."

The faint humming of the air conditioner, and the harsh bathroom lighting making Baekhyun's skin sallow but somehow not a bit less beautiful.

"I really like you, hyung," he swallows, "and not just because you're good looking or sexy or funny or- anything like that. I like all of you and want to get to know all of you. I don't want this to, um," and here he falters, but keeps going, "I don't want this to be just a one time thing, Baekhyun-hyung."

He waits for Baekhyun to say something, anything at all. He feels like he's teetering off the edge of some very tall building, swaying as the wind rushes by his ears.

"I know," Taeyong trudges forward, unable to stand the silence for even a moment, "that this is the most inconvenient thing ever, because of who we are, and what we do, and I'm really sorry, hyung." Taeyong's lip trembles. "But I wanted to tell you anyway, because- I think it's important to tell people when you care about them."

"It is," Baekhyun agrees, not an answer. But not a rejection, either. His hands have fallen loosely around Taeyong's hips, and he grips him there, thumbs circling back and forth on the smooth skin.

"I would be happy with this even, just this," Taeyong continues breathlessly. "Just us sleeping together and nothing else."

"Taeyong," Baekhyun says, so softly, so gently, that the younger can't interpret it as anything other than a slow let-down. "I think we both know that sort of thing would hurt you."

Taeyong murmurs miserably, a soft _no_ , before his face crumbles and tears begin falling down his cheeks. He thinks this is the most he's ever cried in one night.

"I could- I could deal with it," Taeyong says through his tears. "I could make it work hyung, because it's you. I just want to be with you."

Baekhyun pulls him close again and Taeyong buries his face in his neck, sniffling loudly and trying to calm himself down. Baekhyun's hands on his back help.

"I don't want to just keep sleeping together, Taeyong."

Taeyong closes his eyes tight and breaths Baekhyun in like it might be the last chance he has.

"It'll be hard," he continues, "trust me, I know how hard it is. But you're important to me, too." He pulls away and takes Taeyong's face in his palms, wiping away stray tears from his ruddy cheeks. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like you weren't. I want to try."

"Try," Taeyong repeats.

"Try, dating," Baekhyun finally says.

His words hang in the air for a moment, suspended.

"Oh, hyung," Taeyong sighs, and crumbles again, but not at all like the first time.

Taeyong does not yet understand all the ways in which Baekhyun works. He does not yet know all the beautiful and messy and interesting things about Baekhyun that he wants to learn. He does know, however, that Baekhyun is a good person down to his bones. He feels all the goodness that Baekhyun is in the way he holds him, and in the way he cradles him in his arms. Taeyong feels Baekhyun's goodness when he noses Taeyong's face up and kisses him on the cheek, and then soft and gentle on his lips.

What will happen later: the early morning they both wake up to after getting entirely too few hours of sleep. The clinging bits of awkwardness around the other members. The times throughout the day they will long for each other and be denied. The inevitable conversation about what they are now, in relation to each other- but that's not difficult. They want the same thing.

What happens now: they lay curled into each other in bed. Two closed parentheses, two halves of a whole. Taeyong reaches for Baekhyun in the dark and finds his hand. He links their fingers between them, but then Baekhyun decides there's entirely too much space between their bodies, and throws himself all over Taeyong. He giggles, and smiles, and feels Baekhyun's smile against his own as they kiss, sleep-warmed. He loves being like this.

Taeyong loves, and feels loved. Feels happy.

Feels like he's found something to last a lifetime. 

**Author's Note:**

> whew thank you for reading! why was this so long? who can say. i couldn't let these sweet boys go to bed without confessing their feels towards each other and working everything out in the end. please don't tease taeyong too much about his crush, it is hugely obvious and hugely gay. leave me a comment and tell me what you thought!!!
> 
> \- L


End file.
